The pictures of the fighting in Beirut is a very scary thing for us since we are scheduled to depart for that fair city in a week. I missed the war by two weeks when I was there two years ago. Hizbollah’s rise to power, based on their ability to stand up to Israel, is the basis for the year long stand off in selecting a new president. The political situation has been a powder keg for months. It only takes a spark . . . Now it’s here.

So we have a week to see what happens. If the airport remains cut off, then we won’t be able to go, I assume. I can’t imagine trying to walk this road as many are doing these two days. If the situation eases  and the fighters go home, then the decision will be very tough. Will we be able to trust that they will stay at home for the two weeks we are there? We are probably safe at the seminary itself, but airport is in the area where the fighting is. Getting trapped by fighting is not a good picture. So lots of prayers!

I was speaking at the Campus Crusade staff retreat at Sun River Sunday through Wednesday. It was a lot of fun to meet new friends who are committed to spreading the news of the Jesus they enjoy immensely. I not only spoke the three times, but spent a lot of time talking with folk. And I did some writing on the Vintage Church book. That’s book #3. Book #4 is being preached right now. 

The brochure for Sun River has a most intriguing picture, as you can see. The little boy mesmerized by the butterfly is just too cool. A friend returned a couple of pictures of me as a four year old in Missouri. I could easily imagine that little boy doing exactly this, totally entranced in the wonder.  Beauty is something that has always captured me. The little boy would immediately want to find the little girl so they could share the beauty. If she weren’t available, he’d be sad, but never try to make anything happen. The exquisiteness of the butterfly is still a picture of the power of God, a power that connects souls.

That same God of Shalom is the one to whom I trust an uncertain future even when I don’t really understand Him or the situation.

My 28th Western commencement was great . . . again. Friday began in Anchorage with a 12:40 am flight toward Portland. I’d asked some very righteous people to pray that I could get a whole row of seats so I could get some sleep. I heard the terminal clerk tell another passenger requesting a seat change that there were only center seats left. Sigh! I went to 29A toward the back of the aircraft and watched the long line of passengers coming and seats filling, quite a few with all three seats occupied. No one joined me. Then they stopped coming. Righteous friends later denied responsibility, but I celebrated their character by curling up for two and a half hours of sleep. Not at all adequate for the day, but way better than none.

My appointments included Lebanese lunch with Bill and Robin Mounce. He was the commencement speaker. We spent two hours in intense discussion of living in a world where the devil is still quite active. He went to teach his Greek class and I went to meet with Mark and Grace Driscoll before the graduation banquet. We talked on the phone, agreeing on the meeting time at the hotel after the rehearsal for Saturday’s graduation. When I got there, the desk clerk told me they were still stuck in traffic. So I spent the next hour and a half with Mark’s parents while they looked at tail lights. My talk time with Mark was quite abbreviated!

There were six outstanding student testimonies at the banquet. The first four speakers were ones I’d done or am doing pre-marital work with. The other two were Mark and Paul Jackson, both of whom made jokes at my expense! All very fun.

Bill’s commencement sermon had a different opening: He spoke tearfully of his son’s bicycle accident back in Spokane a couple of hours earlier resulting in two broken wrists, that on top of three other broken bones in the last year and a half, and then prayed his hatred for the devil who attacks children along with his love for his son. It gave great power to his gripping exposition on the dual figure of the gate and the path. We enter the narrow gate (conversion, justification, regeneration, adoption, etc.) and then continue on the path. He took us to Romans 8:17-18:

Now if we are children, then we are heirs– heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

and Philippians 1:29

For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake,

He warned the graduates of the dangers of well meaning evangelists such as children’s workers who tie believing in Jesus as something to do so they can get snacks with assurance that this “decision” means they are certainly going to heaven. There is no entry into the gate and certainly no joining Jesus on the path.

Following the conferring of degrees, Bert Downs added punch to Bill’s sermon as he charged us powerfully to guard our hearts.

They were very meaningful words to me, since guarding my heart is a deep passion for me. That doesn’t keep me from hurting others, but it does mean a lifelong commitment to purity to Sherry and to Jesus as a basis for other relationships and ministry. I’m very glad for others SF who help me in guarding my heart.

I preached at Grace today on Luke 11:33-12:3, asking about religion vs. grace, ending with “what will I do with the darkness in me?” What will I do when I see blackness in another? When they tell me of my darkness? Very provocative for me. You can hear it on line in a day or two at gracecc.net. I’d love to hear your comments.

I’m busy working on Vintage Church, the third book in the series with Mark Driscoll. As I looked at Amazon, I found the cover from the second book, Death by Love. The difference between them is dramatic. The current suggestion for Vintage Church follows the themes set out by Vintage Jesus, the first book. The cover will have a bunch of church kitsch, flannel graph, bad pot-luck Jello fruit salad, satin "Praise" banner, WWJD bracelet, reader board, etc., covered by a brown plasticized cover. Buy Death by Love will be in black and while with red for blood in each picture. The drawings are stark, both the cover and the internal drawings which picture each story addressed by the pastoral letters based on atonement themes. They are very powerful.

As I’ve been writing, I’ve been thinking a lot about what is gospel, what is the church, whether it can legitimate expression to be multi-site with sermons by video, what part sacraments play in the life of the church. All this comes in the context of thinking what we want to do to Grace to reach to unchurched people who are interested in spiritual things. There are lots of them, but they aren’t likely to come to Grace where we assume a Christian world view and a basic Bible knowledge. That’s not conducive to reaching out to these folk, though it does make for a strong discipleship church where broken people can find a safe place for healing. So we wonder how we can expand to reach this target group. Is it enough to do multi-format services with different worship formats surrounding a similar sermon as the other services? Or do we need to go to being a multi-congregational church, with completely different services and distinct groups of people working under the single church leadership? Or should we just plant a new church, perhaps meeting in our building, but with separate budgets, leadership and such. There are lots of questions coming out of a basic theology of church.

Wednesday I’ll fly to Anchorage for conversations between a church and a ministry organization to see how they can partner to reach people there more effectively. Being involved in the discussions is good, but flying up for Wednesday evening and Thursday before doing an all night flight back for Friday’s graduation banquet. Will there be any energy in my body??

I do like exploring the Flickr site. One category is what they call interestingness. Somehow they select images from the huge number of pictures posted on their site. This one grabbed me. The wistfulness of the little girl who is looking for something draws me in. The delicacy of her features reflect her soul. Will she find what she’s looking for? Where is Jesus? I suspect there’s a little boy somewhere whose sadness cannot be eased. Who can not be drawn to help?

I saw snow flakes in the air at 10:30 this morning. They are predicting more tomorrow morning down on the valley floor. For sure global warming is on vacation somewhere.

Sunday’s sermon is on Luke 11:33-12:3. What if the light in you is darkness? Can religion save?

I spent the first part of this week at a beautiful retreat center near the entrance of Sequoia National Park. It overlooks the valley on one side and the mountains on the other. There is a babbling river, a big rock perfect for lizards (and a kitty who was also intrigued!) You can see more here. 

The North American Baptist pastors from all over California came together for spiritual retreat where they were in the oversight of Alta Peak. We talked a lot about the true spirituality as opposed to the pantheistic spirituality of Oprah and Star Wars on one side and the mechanistic, scientific deism of many Americans on the other. He is the creator God, the Intelligent Designer who created a world that runs under scientific and moral laws. Those who pay attention to the rule book will succeed. Those who don’t will be in trouble.

The frustrating thing to me is that many evangelicals are pretty deistic. God and heave are way out there somewhere. In the Christian version there are occasional miracles, the biggest one being Jesus. We were headed for hell because of sin. But Jesus died so that if we believe in Him, we’ll go to heaven when we die.

Of course that’s true, but the gospel is a lot more than that. Jesus is God with us, who died but also rose again to new life. He was exalted to the right hand of the Father and the dark powers are defeated. Those who repent (change their mind about who is God and what is important) and believe (trust that what God says is true) get forgiveness of sins (justification, imputed righteousness at conversion by grace alone through faith alone) and also new life of the Spirit (regeneration, imparted righteousness at conversion by grace alone through faith alone). Living from the new heart, people can act with joy in living out the life in them. Lots more to say. What do you think?

When I returned, Sherry picked me up at the airport in our faithful Previa and brought me home after an 11 hour journey home. This morning when I went to start the Previa to go to Westnomah, it didn’t. Dick Anderson checked it and found the leaking head gasket! Same problem as the Geo!! But we’ll not sell the Previa. It has a lot of miles left and very special memories of the children. So we’ll get it repaired.

But I’ll wonder if it is deja vu!

The 40th Anniversary Adventure is history. Very good history. I told Sherry she was being kidnapped, but no more. As the day got closer, I heard her making commitments she wasn’t going to be able to keep. It never occurred to her I’d contacted Jonas, her boss, was delighted to join the conspiracy and give her extra days off. So I asked her if she’d prefer being liberated on Tuesday or Wednesday. Reality dawned slowly, but her quick Wednesday reply meant she had to make some changes in her schedule.

But then she wanted to know warm or cold, air or car, so she’d know how to pack. That led to total ignorance on my part. I felt knowing how long was excessive information already. On Wednesday morning I told her to bring her wet suite for sea kayaking. Thursday evening I happened to mention that we weren’t on a schedule. My murder mystery solving wife missed the significance of both clues!

Friday evening found us headed down highway 18 to Inn at Arch Rock, in Depoe Bay. It’s a place I’ve always wanted to stay. The pictures show you why! That’s our room, lower floor, far right. The curtains were never closed so the view was always there. Saturday was shirt sleeve warm, Sunday stormy, Monday very nice, and Tuesday mixed. And Wednesday we got snow!

We did our anniversary dinner at Kernville Steakhouse. They gave us the best table in the house, great food, and an exquisite dessert as a gift of the house. The sight of the river otter was a delightful addition. Two visits to the Oregon Coast Aquarium, a trip south for a hike down in Seal Rock State Park gave appetite for supper at Chowder Bowl restaurant.

Our final evening was spent at Tidal Raves, which we could see from the door of our room. We did walk around rather than over the bay! We took several walks into town to visit favorite places like Fuddy Duddy Fudge Shop, which is for sale. For a mere $800,000 we could own the two bedroom ocean view apartment above the two retail shops.

The coast is so full of memories. Our family has camped in the rain, played in the surf, seen Sherry develop the ability to draw great views of grey whales by getting violently sea sick. We met Cyndee there. Driving along the coast I saw so many SF spots, with powerful memories of exploration and prayer. All this culminating in a completely relaxing, renewing fortieth. My pretty wife gets the St. Sherry award for loving me so wisely and so well over this time. What a joy to celebrate her.

Tomorrow is our 40th anniversary and tonight we head off on our adventure. I am doing it in surprise mode. All Sherry knew up to a few days ago was that we were going. She didn’t know I’d arranged vacation with her boss. But as her job is getting quite stressful as the company goes through some major growth, she was making some commitments that I knew she couldn’t keep. So I did give her some hints that let her figure out when we were getting back. She still doesn’t know where, what though she has a good idea of the why (at least I hope so!) It’s great fun playing with my pretty wife!

Nicole and Joy came with Samantha to see Sherry and Cyndee after Cyndee got back from spending two weeks with Elizabeth, Donn and Susan in Kansas City. She had a super time in family as well as being in a place in her work where she could actually take almost three weeks off. Her previous 24/7 stress has eased with a reorg at the Conference Center.

I’ve been doing a D.Min. class which is an all day every day thing. It’s great to be with the guys, but really tiring to go so hard. So the time on the adventure will be a much needed rest time as well as a great celebration.

I’d suggest that you have a look at this video on resurrection weekend. It combines one of my all time favorite Twila songs, "How Beautiful" with scenes from The Passion of the Christ. Combining the incredible scene where Jesus lifts Mary Magdalene from the dirt and Twila’s "How beautiful the tender eyes, that chose to forgive, and never despise" brought a huge emotion rush from me. It’s an exquisite picture.

You can see it here

Blessed Resurrection Day

Michael Card was at Western this week, teaching in the worship class. Since he’s my favorite musical expositor ever, I was excited. When I got to campus, Melissa told me Michael was looking for me. I quickly autographed a copy of Vintage Jesus and headed for the classroom. As we greeted each other happily, he received my gift as a most precious thing which awed me. He said he was going to give me A Sacred Sorrow and the companion volume, The Hidden Face of God. You can find them here on his web site. I laughed and assured him I already had them. He’d have to receive my gift as grace.

He provoked us mightily, of course, by asking questions like "How is God well worshipped?" and suggesting it’s when we bring our realest self to him. Trying to try to hide something from an omniscient God is simply the highest level of dumb!!

"What is the problem that concerns the book of Job?" It’s not suffering, of course. Neither does it give a theodicy. Why is it that sharing happiness in a gift can cause so much grief, anger, pain? God refuses to answer any questions. The problem, of course, is God Himself.

God defines himself as Hesed (Translated lovingkindness, faithfulness, mercy, and so on): He is the Person from whom I have a right to expect nothing gives me everything. It’s the only thing that makes covenant work. We keep breaking it and He keeps keeping it. Finally Jesus comes and keeps it fully.

The paradox begins because Job acts according to Torah. Job is so good that he does sacrifices for sins his kids might have done! But God does not. The equation "if I’m good, the God will be good" is the problem.

What we pray for is very seldom what we really need. We need His presence far more than His provision. And that’s what Job gets in the end. The "answer" for the problem of suffering is Psalm 23:4  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me. It’s what Jesus tells Peter: "Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat."

We’d expect Jesus to say, but I’ll protect you from him, I’ll rescue you and keep you from trouble. What He says is, "but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers." (Luke 22:31-32)

The most important question for life in this broken world is "Is God a God who is moved by our tears?" The book begins with God in heaven. By chapter 38, He’s with Job. He’s not the god of the magic wand, but the God who enters personally into our suffering and works grace.

I got to have lunch with him, to talk about the slave metaphor in Bible, the topic of the book he’s working on. The sadness was that I didn’t get to go to his concert, though Sherry did.

On a more personal note: I’ve done the third weekend of my Interfacing Science and Theology class. It’s been a great time to catch up on Quantum Mechanics from my friend and co-teacher, Merritt Quarum.  Sherry’s at Cannon Beach enjoying Cyndee’s apartment while Cyndee is in Kansas City with Elizabeth. I’m preaching at Harvest Community Church in Hillsboro tomorrow.

Sherry’s 1993 Geo Metro blew its second head gasket as she was coming home from her Saturday haircut. Fortunately she was only a mile away from home, so she was able to drive it home. I was tied up in Troutdale at an elders’ retreat (why do they call a day long elders’ meeting a retreat??). I would have left, of course, but didn’t have to. Even if the Geo could be repaired for a reasonable price, the car is done, since Sherry can’t trust it. So what to do? Our normal way is for our friend, Peter Dodd, to find cars. But he’s in Taiwan. So we ended up going to Gresham Toyota. The 2003 Olds Alero made her smile. So now we own it. It’s ten years newer and has 100,000 fewer miles.

The experience made me think of trust. I trust Peter deeply. I know he cares a lot about us. He’s competent in mechanics and shopping. He smiles when he’s doing it. But we can’t wait until he gets here at the end of June. Neither Sherry nor I like car shopping at all. If we take time to shop, in my compulsive way, we’d have to invest a lot of time, rent a car, and that’s an expensive process too. So we decided to trust a Christian car dealer. That dealership asked me to do a Q & A time with their staff after the Passion of the Christ came out. Today, the salesman and I talked aobut the movie as we tested the vehicle. I’m a little nervous about it all, but there is a need to trust, even when there’s not really adequate basis for it.

Trust is one of those things that are hard to deal with. I don’t trust anyone 100%, not even God. It’s not that He’s not trustworthy, but there’s so much of Him I don’t understand. I trust Sherry as much as one can trust another human. She’ll never intentionally hurt me, but she makes mistakes and forgets sometimes. I have friends who touch my soul, to whom I constantly entrust my life, my fears, my hopes, my fragile joys. But what of a friend whom I’ve hurt deeply who can’t even talk to me? There was only intent to build, but the hurt is still there. The fallout has hurt others. Confession and repentance is past tense, but reconciliation is not even on the horizon. What does trust look like? Me trusting time and God’s work? My friend risking to come? Unknown. So prayer, waiting, and consistent repentance. And I sadly wait.

I’m at work on a major crisis situation where I’ve been investing for several months now. It should resolve tomorrow. Trust when I can’t control things is hard. But when I see the results of patient investment come to fruition, I’m glad. There’s a major intervention in the near future which will be as tough as I’ve ever done. I need to process these and other things with someone other than God, but that can’t happen now. One day.

So my goal is to be as totally trustworthy as I possibly can be. But that means saying, “No” to people in advance, which is so difficult when those people are ones who need help so deeply, ones who may well not get help if I don’t. It means keeping margin so stress doesn’t cause my intensity to blow people out. So I pray for courage and wisdom and trust.

The Vintage Jesus book signing party is history. Al Fisher, Michele Bennet and James Kinnard welcomed me with warm smiles. We walked into the conference room and I got my first look at copies of the book. . . . a LOT of them.

Can you imagine autographing 1200 books? What do you write? Name of course. How legible must I be? What else should I write? Is it worth the hand wear? Which page do I sign? Which pen is best? How much can I talk and still get it right?

My name got pretty scrawly. The Matt. 1:21-23 stayed readable, but I tried to write March more than once. Fortunately, I was there a little more than an hour before Mark arrived. Since he only signed his name above mine, I needed the head start. It took only six and one half hours!

Crossway president, Lane Dennis joined us for an hour or so at lunch. I paused signing for ten minutes to eat my lunch sandwich. There was also the frenzied five minutes to rescue books when I knocked over my coffee cup! Lane gave us a sneak preview of the forthcoming ESV Study Bible. The Bible itself has about three quarter million words. The Study Bible notes, representing outstanding scholarship, will exceed that by 50%. But its graphic layout with color maps and charts that made my eyes pop out.

We also saw the drawings for Death by Love, our second book, pastoral letters applying atonement themes to real life stories. Their power moved me to amazed silence. This outstanding book will be out about October 1.

The trip got a rough start. I knew about the snow in Chicago. Happily, the web reported flight status “on time.” I got to the airport, watched the aircraft arrive on time, only to hear mention of a delay as boarding time approached. Then they announced a four hour delay! I called Michele. “It’s bad,” she said. “Cancel the rental car. We’ll send a limo.” That offended my plebeian nature, but pleased the part of me that values my intact skin. Then she called back: no limo’s available. Then they announced a six hour delay. That made the crew “illegal,” since they can only work so many hours. Then it was a firm five hour delay. Still an illegal crew, which made the flight unlikely. As I processed all that, they suddenly announced immediate departure. So we hustled on the plane for a great flight. So many people had already re-booked, most of us had a whole row to stretch out in. My nap felt good.

Shortly after I arrived, Al Fisher took me upstairs to his office. He brought the one copy of the book with its white dust jacket (you have to see it to appreciate how attractive it is). After some explaining of things, he turned to the back flap with Mark’s picture and bio. Only Mark’s. Al was really embarrassed. I found myself thinking it feels right. Part of my self identity refuses prominence. It just seems wrong to ride in a limo, stay in a upscale motel room, or fly first class. I “acquired” that copy of the book and asked Mark to autograph in it. It is a treasure.

Now I’m home, waiting to “kidnap” Sherry for her birthday. Shhhhh. It’s a total suprise for her!

When we saw the email from Donn with this tag line, we wondered why he was doing it. We’d seen the picture of Elizabeth Anne with her great grandparents in Iowa (on the left). She was so full of smiles we could do nothing but smile back. But the “naked baby” picture (on the right) made the smiles all the larger! Naked baby didn’t mean no clothes, but no oxygen tubes! She’s completely off now. No tubes, no tanks. As she comes into her third month, she’s doing super well. Donn and Elizabeth will join Sherry in Phoenix on the weekend of February 22 for a time with her family before her Mom leaves for Arkansas. I have to say I really miss being with the little girl.

Last week was missions teaching week. I did two sessions (What if I run into a demon and Do I have to believe in Jesus to go to heaven?) at Missions Connexion Northwest. Both were well attended, doubling and tripling the chairs. fortunately it was in the unfinished lower floor at Rolling Hills so overflow was no problem. Hearing was! Then I did five Perspectives on World Christian Mission in Post Falls, Richland, Spokane, Boring and Milwaukie. Those along with the weekend class, Interfacing Science and Theology, preaching at Grace, having Nicole and Joy here while David and Sam went to Blue Man Group, and many hours spent in my current crisis, made it an extremely busy week.

One of the ladies from Sherry’s Bible study group discovered she has a very nasty form of cancer, peritoneal cancer. It’s been fascinating to see Sherry’s pastoral gifts coming out as she lead the group in praying for Janet, joining the church prayer group on Sunday between services, then going to minister to her and her husband in the hospital after Monday’s surgery and now leading the Bible study group again. I am super proud of my pretty wife. Her birthday is February 3.

Thursday I leave for Chicago to spend Friday signing 1250 copies of Vintage Jesus (see the website here). It still seems ostentatious to do this. That 1250 pre pub books sold in 10 days still boggles my mind! Maybe spending 6 hours of steady signing is the penalty for being slow in writing on book three! Happily, I’ll get to spend Thursday evening with Linda Cheng, an alum from Taiwan who is doing her second doctorate in psychology at Wheaton. I taught at her seminary. Being with her will bring back many memories of happy times in Taichung, times I sincerely pray will happen again sometime.

I am done with being sixty as of yesterday. Being on Facebook meant a lot more birthday greetings from around the world, especially Lebanon. Birthdays are for the little boy. I wish it could be celebrated properly. Some day. Melissa had cake in the faculty lounge with candles that wouldn’t blow out. I wasn’t doing well, having spent the previous 5 hours investing in a deep crisis situation. I spent 6 hours from 3 to 10 teaching, which is a great thing to do on my birthday. Ray Lubeck brought his class into mine to sing happy birthday. Tamara brought another cake!

There’s so much good, God stuff going on.